I suffered a terrible lost today. When I picked up my morning paper I discovered that, overnight, I had lost an old and dear friend. The headline was like a punch in the stomach: Weak sales spell end for 82-year old chain. I bought my first book at the Harry W. Schwartz Bookshop. In my sane and sober youth I spent hours meandering through their original downtown location, a two story emporium that smelled of books, dust and mold. I saw Ernest Gaines read there. I saw Gloria Naylor read there. I saw Edward P. Jones read there. I didn’t meet my first wife there but I did gain an introduction to my first book club. As I sit here, in my basement office, surrounded by hundreds of the thousands of books I own, I realize the Schwarz Bookshops were the epicenter of my lifelong love with books. Harry W. Schwartz Bookshops to close. Wow.
Like the late, great George Carlin, I believe words are just words and they only have the power we give them but, in the interest of racial harmony and because I believe the "N" word is more often implied than stated, I suggest we substitute the word "suffix" for the "N" word.
For instance:"This will not be tolerated, suffix."
"We're trying to run a business here, suffix."
"I hate suffixes and I hate flies. The more I meet suffixes, the more I like flies."
And, of course, there's that old caucasian spiritual, "Too busy thinking about my suffixes, ain't got time for nothing else." (Sing along if you know the words).
But, again in the interest of racial harmony, we can agree to disagree. Ya'll still my suffixes.
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