Black like Me

I am often amused by the comedy stylings of conservative apologist Jonah Goldberg (http://articles.latimes.com/2012/mar/27/opinion/la-oe-goldberg-trayvon-martin-race-20120327),
but his ham-fisted attack on the phrase "white hispanic" borders on willful cluelessness.

Back in the last millennium a white supervisor asked me what was the difference between a white Hispanic and a black Hispanic and I replied: What is the difference between a white American and a black American?

It is that simple and nobody needs a score card to figure it out. Anybody that has seen a telenovela on Univision or Sophia Vergara on "Modern Family" knows what a white Hispanic looks like.  Anybody who has watched Major League baseball and has rooted for Mariano Rivera or Alfonso Soriano knows what a black Hispanic looks like.

If you can move into a predominantly white neighborhood and nobody moves out, you are a white Hispanic.  If baseball has been "berry, berry good to you" you are a black Hispanic.

First of all, Mr. Goldberg, it has nothing to do with whether or not one of your parents is white.  So, no, President Obama is NOT a white African-American.  If Mr. Obama was, in fact, a white African-American and looked like your brother-from-another-mother instead of "the other," he would be currently hailed as the new Ronald Reagan for his moderate Republican policies and not vilified as a wild-eyed radical.

~rave!

A Little Black Girl

A stranger was seated next to a little black girl on the airplane
when the stranger turned to her and said, “Let's talk. I've heard
that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your
fellow passenger.”

The little girl, who had just opened her coloring book, closed it
slowly and said to the stranger, “What would you like to talk
about?”

“Oh, I don't know,” said the stranger. “Since you are an Afro-
American, do you think that So-called President Barak Obama is
qualified for the job?” and he smiles.

“OK”, she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask
you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same
stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns
out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass.
Why do you suppose that is?”

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks
about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”

To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss
President Barak Obama...when you don't know shit?”

Lust:Caution - cinema we can believe in

Has anybody seen Ang Lee's "Lust:Caution"? There is a scene
near the end of the movie (which is 157 minutes long and as
deadly as paint drying until folks start taking their clothes off
about three quarters of the way through) where lead actor
(Tony Leung Chiu Wai)looks toward the camera oozing love
for his consort (Wei Tang) where he looks like a doppleganger
for Barack Hussein Obama. I kid you not - if Michelle and Barack
ever sit down to watch it together, Brother President gonna get
SLAPPED - they look like they was separated at birth. Jug ears,
slicked back waves in the hair, and those almond shaped eyes
filled with compassion.

Tony Leung Chiu Wai is a huge star in Asia and that got me thinking.
There is probably an Obama doppleganger in every country. Which
makes Mr. Obama a universal archtype - one that is visually em-
braced around the world.

A moment in Oslo

Let me set the scene: Oslo City Hall, Oslo, Norway, December
2009. Nobel Peace Prize Laureate Barack Obama, resplendent
in his black tux and white tie and vest, steps up to podium to
accept his award. As he basks in the audience applause, Republican
National Committee Chairman Michael Steele will lurch up onto
the stage uninvited. “Excuse me, Barack!” he will say as he grabs
the microphone and shouts, “Everybody knows George W. Bush
had the best video of 2008!” The audience of dignitaries will gasp
in shocked amazement as he continues to show a total lack of
manners and civility.

Intramural Silliness

There is quite a bit of intramural silliness surrounding the election
of President Barack Obama. His critics, faced with the apparently
insoluble problem of his contradictory achievement, hold rallies, act
up at town hall meetings and call names. They can actually achieve
something there and, possibly, feel less impotent.

Does anybody remember when all the Chicken Littles were screaming
“the sky was falling!” just seven short months ago? I do. I know lots
of people who didn’t vote for President Obama who were mortally
afraid then who are not as scared, today. Yes, the epoch is pregnant
– and America groans to find a new paradigm.

Crying Liar in a crowded Senate chamber

When is it OK to cry "Liar!" in a crowded Senate chamber? The
lack of civility evidenced by South Carolina Rep. Joe Wilson (in
response to President Barack Obama's comment about illegal
aliens) encapsulates the rabid nature of the disloyal opposition.
I have been lectured most of my adult life by a succession of
apologists for one Republican administration after another that
if I didn’t respect the president, I should, at the very least, respect
the office. Imagine my lack of surprise when, once again, one of
their number has proven unable to walk the walk after talking
the talk.

The Cult of the Trick-less Magician

Word is Djimon Hounsou and Hayden Christensen are going to take the lead in the film adaptation of Lee Falk’s Mandrake comic strip. I am a fan of Falk's The Phantom (which is why the Phantom Limb character from The Venture Bros is such a hoot) but I always had problems with Mandrake the Magician primarily because of the Lothar character. Lothar is Mandrake's best friend and crime-fighting companion. Mandrake first met Lothar during his travels in Africa.

Lothar was then "Prince of the Seven Nations", a mighty federation of jungle tribes. He passed on the chance to become king and instead followed Mandrake on his world travels, fighting crime and villains from all over the world (and the rest of the universe as well). Lothar is often referred to as the strongest man in the world.

In the beginning, Lothar was little more than Mandrake's servant. He spoke poor English, wore a fez, short pants and a leopard skin. His muscles far exceeded his mental abilities. When artist Fred Fredericks took over in 1965 (after original artist Phil Davis had died), Lothar was modernized; he began to speak correct English, and his clothing changed, although he still often wears shirts with leopard-skin patterns. (Abridged from Wikipedia).

There are several things that leap out at me from the Wikipedia article (and my nagging discomfort with these characters)- the parallels between Lothar and both Punjab (from Little Orphan Annie) and Marvel's Black Panther. What is this eagerness of obviously superior, well-born people of color to willingly subjugate themselves to a person of obviously inferior character, intellect and ability? In Lothar's case, why would he give up a chance to become King of the Seven Nations in order to become the man-servant of a "trickless" magician. I mean, this would be tantamount to Barack Obama giving up the Presidency to become David Blaine's valet.

I believe these stories offered balm to white readers who, in every facet of their lives - their maids, their chauffeurs, their elevator men - saw people who appeared to be endowed with so much more than they, serving them. It was but it did not compute - unless you accept the odd, curious and convenient notion that black people like serving white people. In fact, when given the choice between ruling or serving they will invariably choose to serve. Why? It must be in their DNA.

Obama's First 100 Days

Once again, it is time to play the time worn parlor game of
evaluating a new president's first 1oo days in office. I tend
to grade President Barack Obama high but largely for style
points. The latest Bush administration was so disastrous that
Obama stays gold in simple comparison. I, for one, did not
inhale the "hopium" (to borrow Chicago columnist John Kass'
caustic and cheeky appellation of rampant "Obamamania").
I saw how cool, calibrated and calculated the Obama campaign
was and I am not disappointed that the Obama presidency is as
cool, calibrated and calculated as the campaign. It is time this
country was governed by the "best and brightest" instead of
the "dumb and dimmest."

The Power of "O"

Standing in front of the triumphal arch that provides the backdrop for what appears to be the dawning of the Age of Obama, I ponder the wondrous power of the letter O. The most mellifluous of letters, O is full and round, flirty and confident, boisterous and full-throated. The letter O is also sly and seductive. Strung together like pearls on a string, Os can convey pleasure, pain, wonder or surprise. O is an ingratiating letter. A comfort letter. An all-purpose letter. A letter that can be all it can be. O is a letter you can trust.

Oh, say can you see how a skinny bi-racial kid with a funny name came out of nowhere to vie for the most powerful office in the world? Do you ponder how improbable it is that a girl born in rural Mississippi to a poor teen-aged single mother, and later raised in an inner city Milwaukee neighborhood, would blossom into a television host, media mogul, and billionaire philanthropist? Ain't nothing but the power of O, baby.

So on election day don't exclaim "Oh!" when the young man with the last name that begins with an O is elected President of these here United States cause it's all in the O (doncha know).