Digitally Converted

I finally got around to purchasing a digital converter box
for the ancient twelve inch color television in my kitchen
and it has been great! First of all, even before the conver-
sion to all digital broadcasting, I had only been able to get
VHF channels - which was fine because I rarely spent much
more time in the kitchen than it took to prepare or to con-
sume a meal, and I usually listened to sports radio or NPR
when I did that. So I get my brand new digital converter
home and hook it up to my television. As I said, my tele-
vision is old, so the cute little color-coordinated jacks that
plug into the cute color-coordinated holes were of no use
to me. I am strictly coaxial cable, baby! Still, I muddle
through, with no help from the instruction manual I might
add, finally realizing I need to slide the switch on the back
of the television from channel 4 to channel 3 in order to get
some reception.

My old television has no control buttons - they have all
broken off - so I need to use my universal remote to turn
the television on, then the digital converter box's remote
to turn on the digital converter box. I press MENU on the
remote control to display the Main Menu and select Auto
Program to begin scanning and searching for all the digital
channels in my area. It takes a few minutes but, man, is it
worth it. Instead of four fuzzy VHF channels, I now have
upwards of thirty over the air digital channels, including all
the UHF channels I had been previously missing. The digital
clarity of the picture is a joy to behold. I actually found my-
self sitting in a hard kitchen chair watching a 25 year-old
episode of Knight Rider on the ME channel (why does KITT
need Michael Knight, anyway?).

The downside is I am listening to less NPR and spending more
time in my kitchen watching The View and Kathy Lee and
Hoda. I am watching the local morning shows and the news
at noon. The upside is I am spending more time in my kitchen
chopping up onions, garlic and mushrooms and frying up fresh
garnishes for my burgers.