Sunday, April 22, 2012

Ballin' too hard

So I ball so hard muhfuckas wanna fine me 
But first niggas gotta find me

What's 50 grand to a muhfuka like me

Can you please remind me?

Ball so hard This shit crazy
~Kanye West, "Niggas in Paris"

Okay, Kanye, you win.  I recant everything I have ever suggested
about your being gay ("not that there's anything wrong with that").
Just please, please, PLEASE!!!! stop this Kim Kardashian nonsense.

I don't believe this relationship is any more real than your "relationship" with Shay the UK Bombshell

Or your "relationship" with Amber Rose

(why does Kanye always look like he was photo-shopped into these pictures)

But those publicity stunts were relatively harmless.  Ms. Rose went on to play wifey with Wiz Khalifa and the Bombshell carried on being ridiculously endowed.

This Kardashian business, however, is toxic (holler at your boy, Lamar; give Kris Humphries a jingle).  Nothing good will come out of it.  Nothing good CAN come out of it.  I mean, have you SEEN her sex video (with Ray J)?  I have.  So believe me when I tell you that even if I am willing to concede your non-gayness (and I AM, truly I am) not even the sex will be good.

Nothing good has ever come from putting three Ks together.  

If, like noted cockhound Tom Cruise, you must persist in trawling for talent, trawl for TALENT.  

I hear Rihanna likes to play.
Or how about actress Lauren London 
(oh, no, wait...Weezy has already been there - done that)

Duane Wade has locked up Gabrielle Union...

 but it is my understanding that Meagan Good is still available.

And Tyra Banks is still Tyra Banks (fool!). 

'cept publicly dating Tyra Banks is damn near like ADMITTING YOU ARE GAY ("not that anything is wrong with that").

This shit crazy.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Black like Me

I am often amused by the comedy stylings of conservative apologist Jonah Goldberg (,
but his ham-fisted attack on the phrase "white hispanic" borders on willful cluelessness.

Back in the last millennium a white supervisor asked me what was the difference between a white Hispanic and a black Hispanic and I replied: What is the difference between a white American and a black American?

It is that simple and nobody needs a score card to figure it out. Anybody that has seen a telenovela on Univision or Sophia Vergara on "Modern Family" knows what a white Hispanic looks like.  Anybody who has watched Major League baseball and has rooted for Mariano Rivera or Alfonso Soriano knows what a black Hispanic looks like.

If you can move into a predominantly white neighborhood and nobody moves out, you are a white Hispanic.  If baseball has been "berry, berry good to you" you are a black Hispanic.

First of all, Mr. Goldberg, it has nothing to do with whether or not one of your parents is white.  So, no, President Obama is NOT a white African-American.  If Mr. Obama was, in fact, a white African-American and looked like your brother-from-another-mother instead of "the other," he would be currently hailed as the new Ronald Reagan for his moderate Republican policies and not vilified as a wild-eyed radical.