Monday, August 31, 2009


Slang term for a score of 8 on any individual hole of golf, so called because the figure "8" resembles the body of snowman.

On May 25, 2009 I celebrated my fifty-third birthday. Five plus three equals eight which makes this my “snowman” year. Being a Gemini, I embrace the duality of this number – the futility (but, yes, the determination and dogged persistence) of taking eight extra shots to sink a putt on the golf course and the endless possibilities of the infinity sign which, for all intents and purposes, is just an eight laid on its side. My last “snowman” year (2000, when I turned 44) ushered in a near decade of futility, lost and regret. But, life being what it is: six of one and a half dozen of another, my most recent natal eight seems to be lying alluringly on its side – like a plump Botero nude.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

More Meat on Sticks

I say they should put more meats on a
stick, you know? They got a lot of sweets
on sticks--popsicles, fudgesicles,
lollipops--but hardly any meat.

I agree there should be more.

- "There's Something About Mary" (1989)

I'm going to the Wisconsin State Fair next week. The Wisconsin
State Fair not only means greasy, deep-fried foods, it means
greasy, deep-fried foods on STICKS. Below is a list of the 44
foods available on sticks this year (up from 32 last year)!


A list of the 44 foods on a stick you can eat at the Fair this year.

1. Bacon-wrapped waterchestnuts, Charcoal Grill
2. BBQ pork chop on a stick, WI Pork Producers
3. BBQ pork on a stick, Miss Katie's Dinner
4. Cajun sausage on a stick, Thunder Bay Gille
5. Caramel apples, LeTendre Concessions & Lori's Sugar Shack
6. Cheddar cheese on a stick, Crutchee-s
7. Cheese & hot dog on a stick, Crutchee-s
8. Cheesecake on a stick, Sidewalk Sundaes
9. Cherry pie on a stick, Door County Fish Boil
10. Chicken wings on a stick, Saz's At the Fair
11. Chocolate bacon on a stick, Machine Shed
12. Chocolate dipped frozen bananas, Sidewalk Sundaes
13. Coconut shrimp on a stick, Joey's Seafood
14. Cookie dough on a stick, D&T Concessions
15. Corn dogs, Multiple Vendors
16. Cotton candy, Multiple Vendors
17. Cow Pops, Ultimate Confections
18. Deep-fried crab cakes, Catfish Johnny's
19. Deep-fried Oreo cookie, M&W Concessions
20. Deep-fried PB&J on a Stick, Machine Shed
21. Deep-fried Snickers Bbar, M&W Concessions
22. Dove Bars, Double K Dairy
23. Frozen Snickers bar on a stick, Leadfoots Bar & Grill
24. Fruit kabob with or without chocolate, Leadfoots Bar & Grill
25. Hand-dipped ice cream bars on a Stick, Ultimate Confections
26. Kettle korn on a stick, Otte's Old Fashion Kettle Korn
27. Lollipops, Lori's Sugar Shack
28. Macaroni & cheese on a stick, Catfish Johnny's
29. Meatballs on a stick, Kalashian Food Service
30. Mickey Mouse bars, J&W Cedar Crest
31. Mini burgers on a stick, Derynda's Adeline's Corn Stand
32. Pork shish-kabobs, Apollo Gyros
33. Pork tenderloin on a stick, Swingin' Turkey Legs
34. Rice crispy bar on a stick, Ultimate Confections
35. Rock candy, Freese's
36. Reuben on a stick, Slim McGinn's West
37. Sausage kabob, Benno's on the Mall
38. Shish-kabob, Eleni's Greek Foods
39. S'Mores on a stick, 3-B Concessions
40. Strawberry shish-kabobs with European chocolate, Berry-Bobs
41. Swiss and Colby cheese on a stick, Mill Street
42. Swiss cheese on a stick, Crutchee-s
43. Ultimate cashew rods, Ultimate Confections
44. Ultimate pecan rods, Ultimate Confections

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Cash for Cluckers

Republicans remain tone death to the wishes of the American
people while sticking slavishly to their talking points. Rep. Jeb
Hensarling (R-Texas) uttered his “Cash of Cluckers” knee
slapper (hailed by the Illinois Review
as “a clear articulation of the conservative view”) with total dis-
regard for the popularity of the plan. The Texas delegation is
also foursquare opposed to national healthcare even as Texas
leads the nation in uninsured. It is alarming that even when
something appears a “no-brainer” Republicans, and especially
Texas Republicans, continue to exhibit an alarming lack of gray

DNA: The Gift that Keeps on Giving

There is an old adage that “it is an ill will that doesn’t blow some-
body some good.” One case in point is the racially divisive O.J.
Simpson murder trial. The good blown in from that ill wind was
DNA testing. Scores of unjustly jailed men, mostly but not ex-
clusively minorities, have been exonerated by DNA testing.
Conversely, DNA testing has proved invaluable in jailing felons
who had previously escaped both prosecution and incarceration.
The most recent perpetrator snared by DNA is Edward Wayne
Edwards, now 78, charged in a 30 year-old double homicide
in Wisconsin. DNA: the gift that keeps on giving.