Today in Sound-Off Theater (Saturday)

Because I was on vacation Friday, I am engaging in my Sunday ritual 
of listening to NPR while surfing the web, reading two newspapers
and watching a movie with the sound off, today.

I have found another excellent candidate for soundless movie viewing: Robert Rodriguez's Once Upon a Time in Mexico.  This fantasmagoric extravaganza is almost unintelligible but my is it a feast for the eyes!  All those angles! All those close-ups!  All that blood!

What great faces:

Antonio Banderas
Salma Hayek
Johnny Depp
Mickey Rourke
Eva Mendez
Danny Trejo
Cheech Marin
Ruben Blades
Willem Dafoe

It is all so technicolorful!

Other great sound-off movies:
Catwoman
The Golden Compass

Titan A. E.

~rave!

The ScarJo Hotness Meter

Gentlemen (and Ladies), today I announce the birth of the ScarJo
Hotness Meter. To determine the relative hotness of a respective

actress/singer/celebutante, you must add or subtract their position
on Maxim's annual Hot 100 list from Scarlett Johansson's current
position. Further, to enable one to apply the ScarJo meter without
getting slapped, the ScarJo is scored like a round of golf. You add (a
stroke?) for each position a woman is below ScarJo on the list.

ScarJo is number two on the 2008 list.

Which means (on the ScarJo Meter):

Marissa Miller is a -1
Scarlett Johansson is even par.
Eva Mendez is a +5
Hayden Panettierre is a +11
Beyonce is a +12 (I demand a recount!)
Rihanna is a +13
Jennifer Love Hewitt is a +18
Eliza Dushku is a +36
Zoe Saldana is a +40
Gabrielle Union is a +71 (blasphemy!)

Since both Halle Berry and Rosario Dawson are not on this list I can only conclude that they are literally OFF THE SCARJO HOTNESS SCALE(obviously too hot for the ScarJo meter to measure).

Gentlemen: the comment line is on the left.
Ladies: the complaint line starts to the right.